Wife having emotional affair part 4

[3kids]

Thank you Sandi!

I was saying my goodbyes. I was just so hurt and wanted it all to stop. Keeping hope is a painful thing. I'm a very emotional guy. I can field dress a pheasant, and rip a part a house or car. Or even cut the tip of my finger off and not bother me. But I see pain in some one or on a movie or my heart hurts and I cry. Just how I am. I thought at that moment if I could just start the divorce, I could start to move on emotionally. But I'm just that person that holds on to sad emotions for a very long time. The other hard part is that I just can't picture us divorced yet. We where to close gone through to much. Getting to that point is very hard. I know the only thing that will ever get me that is if I meet OM. We even talked about that one night a couple of weeks ago. She was saying a can't believe you have never seen him. And I said nope and never want to meet him. She asked just curious why not. I said if I meet him it will be the end. And she agreed and said I never want you to meet him either. So if I really wanted to end it emotionally for me I know what I have to do. So after divorce I won't keep hanging on.

Thank you so much Sandi!