I think I surprised H at MC counseling this week. The first question from the MC is always, "How you are doing as a couple?" and this week I stepped in first and said, "Really well."
H said, "That's not what I was expecting you to say!" and the MC asked me to elaborate. I said that two weeks ago, we had a difficult session where H told me that he could do what I needed him to do, and then over the past two weeks he proceeded to do it any way. We all laughed and agreed that's an example of when it's better that H didn't keep his word.
H said he had no idea what he had done differently and is worried that the good place won't hold since he doesn't know what caused it in the first place. The MC said that it's possible that it's my impression that's changing, not his behavior, or that it's some of both. (I think it's probably both.)
The MC asked me to say what H had done differently, and I told H that I felt like (for the most part) he was listening to me when we talked, trying to validate how I felt, and showing tenderness toward me. H said that he was trying to be more gracious because that is the person he wants to be.
