Welcome to our group. There are many here who can identify with what you are feeling. I haven't counted, but I'd guess the majority of newcomers have not arrived at the place you find yourself (resentment) and are more focused on just wanting to get the WAS back again.
It is good you are in counseling. How about your H? Are the two of you seeking professional guidance in piecing your M back together again?
You talk about how amazing he has been since reconciling, could you share some of the things you both have done to work on the M? I think you could help others here, as well as receive encouragement too.
I come from the other side of the fence (as they say). I understand fully about resentment, but not for the same reasons you do. Speaking as a former WAW, I can tell you that if he is truly remorseful, he has punished himself more than you could know. If he had the power to go back and undo what he did, I'm sure he would in a second.
Based on what I have read from others, it must be pretty common for the LBS to experience the anger after they reconcile as a couple. I have studied the subject of forgiveness, and I have learned it is for both parties (the forgiver and forgiven). Resentment will turn you into a bitter old woman who nobody wants to be around. I have seen this happen many times. You can become a prisoner to your resentment, or you can choose to be free by forgiving your H for everything.
I have also learned the "sinner" does not have to deserve your forgiveness, and really can't work for it or get good enough for it (an example is your great H). It isn't about whether or not he should be forgiven. You do from it from a position of grace. You may read some of our posters say it is a gift. Indeed, it is a gift for yourself (to be set free of the resentment) and to him.
I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive him, and have peace for yourself.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
