4) At least $100.00 per week spousal support for half the years you were married.
Spousal support will probably be by formula, and since your income is not that much lower than Smokies now, may not turn out to be this high.
As for Smokies witnesses - what exactly could they testify to that would hurt you? They don't have any information about what happened to the tools. They can say that you believe D13 has Asperger's and you home schooled her - so what? They could testify that you left the house in a mess - so what? You were left to totally care for kids and home and needed to move for a job. If the house wasn't maintained he's equally at fault for not providing adequate support. You document the things you did fix and maintain. If he subtracts his cost of cleaning the house from any potential profit from the sale, so what?
I get that you're scared, but I don't really see what exactly you are scared of. He won't win custody. He'll have to pay child support by formula. He'll have to share marital assets. You can show that he spent money on his girlfriend.
He may want the house - give it to him. He won't want to share his pension - tough. He won't want to pay spousal support - you may or may not get any depending on the judge. There's just not really that much here to fight over.
