Life Twists, She has a court appearance on December 15th, which Heather needs to attend. She needs to be on her game for that hearing and that is probably one of the items that her attorney wants to speak to her about. If I recall, Heather has been getting some child support w/o formal/legal documentation from her h. I think what she's trying to do is get that part of the separation nailed down legally on December 15th.
As for the discovery questions, she also needs to speak to her attorney about requesting more time. As for the other things on his list that he needs to speak w/her about, she needs to inquire as to what they are. If she emails him, that's money, if she phones him, that's money. He will most likely charge her the same about either way.
I agree w/you that she needs to find out just where her attorney stands on her case, after all, he's suppose to be working for her and just not dragging his feet, if that is the case. Heather needs to come across as a strong woman who knows what she wants.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
When my wife filed divorce on me the first time it took 1 month from filing to when we were in court to get her child support. Her attorney was aggressive in that respect. Heather is one year in now an facing her first court appearance? I find this troubling for Heather.
I think from what you have written that she may be stuck going to court this time. My suggestion would be that she instruct her attorney to only focus on the child support at this time and that any other work will not be paid for. Go to court and see how her attorney performs for her. I would not spend much more time with this attorney if he does not do a stellar performance in court. My guess is he will be a dud and she will probably loose ground. I hope not, but I have a gut feeling.
Twisting on Life's Rope Me53 W53 M20 D21 D19 D16 BD 2-2013 D final 1-2015 _________________________ "Dream about tomorrow, Live for today, Learn from yesterday"
Yep, she's stuck with the December 15th court hearing. I agree that she needs to only focus on the child support at this time. As for the other work, that will come later.
I don't think Heather actually hired this lawyer until sometime in 2014 (maybe late spring/early summer), but I do agree w/you, the child support should have been hammered out early on in the year. Heather will need to be aggressive in what she wants both with the lawyer and w/the negotiations. She should be able to tell from this hearing whether he is fighting for her on just sliding along hoping to end this w/lots of $$$ in his pocket.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Heather - you tend to get impulsive and impatient, and it doesn't always serve you. I know you're frustrated with this whole process, but I would suggest the following:
- attend the court date. - discuss with your attorney in advance what the EXACT purpose of this court date is. - find out whether you actually need to answer all 100 questions before that date (seems unlikely, especially if you can show that most of them are BS, but find out.) - wait until after the outcome of the court date before you make any decisions about your lawyer and the divorce. Don't forget that if you can get divorced next year, it may benefit you greatly in your tax refund on your tax return. - document, if you can, all the money that Smokey has paid you or paid in house payments over these last couple of years. - if the house is under water, is there a way to either transfer it to Smokey or force him to simply let it go into foreclosure so that you are not responsible for any of the money he is putting into fixing it? Or will it sell for a profit once it's fixed? If he's interested in keeping it, it may be a bargaining chip - give him the house, take your fair share of his retirement OR take alimony in lieu of the retirement. Have you and your attorney worked out what the two of you think is a fair settlement?
Oh, and I wouldn't worry too much about D's schooling questions. If you can just show that you have an apptmt with the superintendent and have plans to enroll her in school next semester (which WAS your plan anyway, right?) it should be ok. Pretty sure Smokey is not actually looking for custody so don't sweat it. Plus with his track record of limited visitation he wouldn't get it anyway. He may get a "standard" visitation agreement of part of summer and holidays....don't sweat that either, he probably won't end up taking it all anyway.
And I wouldn't pursue the drug addiction angle unless you can prove he's drinking heavily or using other drugs stronger than pot. In this day and age of legalized marijuana I don't think you'll get very far with accusing him of pot addiction (even though that is a real thing). It might backfire on you and just make you look like a hysterical woman.
It's most important that you come of calm cool and collected. You have gotten a job outside the home despite having a special-needs kid. H did nothing to help with upkeep and repair of the home that he abandoned you in - document all the things YOU did to repair and maintain that home. All you are asking for is child support and your fair share of marital assets. H had an affair and left you to raise the girls on your own. The court just wants the facts (and if your is a no-fault state, they won't even care about the affair).
The judge just wants to hear the facts, no emotion. This is business.
