I have been doing my best to follow Divorce Busting rules for the last five months. I don't whine and cry, I don't try to discuss relationship issues etc. Eight years ago I had a brief affair. H tried to get past it but finally snapped after holding it all in for eight years. I got the "I don't love you anymore" speech on July 4th this year and was told that his intentions were to leave me. As he could not afford to move out immediately he moved into the guest room, where he remains. He is very distant towards me still, but has not mentioned going our separate ways for about 3 months or so. He has not verbally agreed to work on our marriage at any point but he still does "couples" things with me when the mood suits him and we still live basically like we are married, eating meals together, going to occasional get togethers together etc. I feel like Divorce Busters has helped get us to a more friendly non combative place, yet he remains cool, distant, and will not show any affection. I went to counseling alone in July for a couple sessions. H would not come with me. The counselor said that at some point I would have to draw a line and confront H on what his intentions are. That I could not just let things go on indefinitely. That thinking seems to go against what Divorce Busters says, where patience and giving space is a key thing. But I wonder, how do you know the difference between H just needing a long time to heal from his pain, or if he is just procrastinating and in a sort of comfortable rut where he just doesn't have the guts to make the final cut to our marriage? How long is too long to continue the space and patience route?
Stick to one thread brought this over from the new one that you started
