I TOTALLY understand being all over the map emotionally! I do that too. I cry, I laugh, I cry while I laugh and laugh while I cry. It is maddening some days. For me, what works is to stop myself when I start to cry and just pray. I have never been a particularly religious person, but I pray for my family, I pray for myself and my dog, I even occasionally pray for H. It seems to calm me when I am up and down so much. Hang in there!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids