The Black Knight Lost in the End

[job]

Heather,
I would have a very strong conversation w/your lawyer today and nip some of this bs. Divorce is very time consuming and ugly. The paperwork is lengthy and the negotiating takes time, but the discovery is normal. I will share this w/you...when I had my discovery questions done, I had my attorney come up w/the standard questions and then I provided some of my own. Did your h's attorney come up w/the discovery questions that were sent to your attorney? As for appearing in court, the court wants you there because the hearing is about child support, am I correct on that? If so, you need to be there to fight for your child. This is one area of divorce that I don't agree w/doing telephonically. You need to go there, be strong and be ready to fight for your daughter. If you don't, who else will do it? She needs every support dollar owed to her and it's no one's fault in your household that your h walked out and technically abandoned all of you.

I'm not here to rain on your parade today, but to give you something to think about. Here's the thing that may happen if you pull back. Your h may opt to go ahead and move forward w/the divorce, which means you would still need to be represented and yes, the issues that you have right now would still be on the table. Your h knows you so very well and knows that you stress easily and will give up easily when bombarded. He's counting on this. They all do this to us when fighting for money and what they think that they are entitled to. Don't let them see you sweat.

About work, time to call your team together and have a breakfast/coffee break meeting and lay it all out on the table that you want some help w/the proofreading, edits, etc. That as a team, everyone works together to make the team shine. Surely you have someone on the staff that can work w/you. Don't allow pride get in the way of asking for help. People are more receptive to help if asked and they will be more than happy to do so. Learn to ask for help. There is no shame in admitting you've got a lot on your plate and need help.

Your attorney has advised you that each and every issue is important and believe me, they are. They have to be addressed and today is the day to do them. Don't put this off. Get the issues out on the table today and tell him exactly what he needs to know. That will be one less thing to focus on. As for the discovery questions, answer a couple each night. Your h has already asked for an extension. Find out if it's been approved by the lawyers. If so, your extension should be approved as well. In my state, every has to deal w/discovery/fact finding questions. It's part of the divorce proceedings. I know you are taking the questions personally and I can understand that way of thinking, but it's normal/routine stuff to the courts. Look at the questions as part of a business deal gone sour and now the two partners have to go dissolve the company, nothing more.

Heather, you are not alone in this...many of us have gone through this. I know how stressful it can be, but you've got to go through it to get to the other side. Once you have, life will be so much better for you and the girls.

If you need some help w/the discovery questions, I'm available all day. You've got my number so call me and I'll be happy to return your call since I have phone service which allows me to call anywhere in the US w/o fees racking up.