HP....geez...my WAW thinks I'm the only man in the world that way. One of these days I'm going to have to tell her just to read these damn boards. Now to your questions...
Quote: I have one question for you: Why would her walking around naked do nothing for you, but her verbally saying the words "I want to ML to you tonight" would have? It seems to me that the words are actual pressure, whereas the nakedness is more of a seduction type thing.
Is the lingerie for you or for him? If it's for you and makes you feel sexy, then who cares what he thinks. If it's for him and it doesn't do it for him, then stop doing something that doesn't work.
I'm not going to say seeing her naked ALL THE TIME desensitized me...but it probably did. If you eat lobster everynight you probably will forget how good it tastes. It stops being a seduction thing if you do it all the time.
Now that she is NEVER naked around me...it would totally get me turned on. When she's slept over and she has even a little less clothing on I have enough wood to build a boat.
As for why telling me she wants to ML works...that's because I'm a verbal person when it comes to arousal. The visual only makes it that much better. That's probably why porn has never done a thing for me. I need the other senses. And since I am a verbal feedback person...complaining and nagging to me about the lack of sex is a sure labido killer....but coming on to me in verbal ways gets me going.
Back to the lingerie thing...when I came out of my LD pit one of the first things I started to think about was lingerie. For years my WAW had bought her things that she thought would turn me on....and at the same time she gave me certain evil looks for looking too long at things at Victoria's Secret. So I felt trapped. What I did learn is that lingerie could be something for ME. What did I WANT to see her in? What would turn me on? So I went out and bought a nice little piece of lingerie that I knew would turn ME on to no end...and gave it to her. It's still sitting in the box...she says it's too late.
NOW...I'm sure it's a HUGE confidence killer for you. My WAW has told me that the reason she doens't want to ML now is because I've hurt her self-esteem by all that rejection over the years. I think there are other reasons...but this is probably true to. So just in case your LD H doesn't say it....I'm sorry and it's not your fault.
"The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step." – Lao Tzu
