Hi Toots, Sorry to disappear for awhile. Had been busy since the whole Thanksgiving trip.
I see you are "moving on" with your life, congrats on your new flat, somehow, somewhere there is a great feeling of accomplishment on that.
The most difficult part of all is to let time to do the hard lift for us, the unknown is a killer... it's easy to mind read and interpret things in one way one day and see it in another way the next day.
In regard of protecting yourself and your future, I think it's best if you look for professional help to understand all your rights. It's a hard thing to do since it seems you are giving up on your M, but unfortunately it can be a disaster if you don't pay attention to it and H does something stupid.
It is also annoying that you need to have so much paperwork to trace your financial life for at least last year or so. I agree with you that he needs to be the one to start the divorce process if this is what he desires. But there is the parallel that you need to keep an eye, if he won't move towards taking financial advantages on you.
What does your IC says about contacting your H? Is there anything you need to talk about with him that is not related to R? Just that you would check his attitude towards you?
Do you know if he gets some info about your life now? Does he knows you are moving into your new flat? What about his son, do you have any contact with him at all?
Toots, it is very hard to move on with our lives and even harder when things are in the "limbo zone". I found it very hard to detach...it's like giving up. But, it is what is best for now, to be the person "YOU" love to be.
How will be your Christmas and New Year? Do you have any plans? Any chance you may see H around?
Toots, I believe you are doing the right thing even though it seems nothing is getting resolved. But we are here for a reason, we want to save our M, and trying that means to do what does not make to much sense and yet makes the most sense of all... take good care after yourself and become a person that only a fool would leave.
What are the changes you see in yourself? I mean, as a girl? I have been exploring this, feeling good about my appearance helps me to face the day...
Hope you are treating yourself well and building some strength. I keep saying to myself... patience, patience and more patience. It's the only way.
Hang in there and take one day at a time, you can do it, you are doing it, and with time you will feel really proud of yourself...
