Shining, normally I have the same kind of attitude – never say never. I’m just discouraged, that’s all. This is my 3-rd holiday season after BD. I just cannot believe it that I’m still hoping for something.

Job, this is true, I didn’t have to deal with much MLC, even though he is mild MLCer. The reason I’m so discouraged is that H never took buses anywhere. This is new. This is like getting to a new low for H. And it makes me think that for him taking a bus is better than doing anything else that might involve me. I’m sure I’m not expressing it the way I would like it. I just cannot think clearly these days. Everything is like in the fog. Good thing I still can function at work.

Well, H sent me a text today thanking me for wishing him a happy Thanksgiving. He said that he just crossed the border and got the text. He also said “Hope you had fun” (meaning Thanksgiving.) I want to believe him that he indeed didn’t get my text until today. I replied that I had a good time and hope that he had a great time too, inserted a smiley face and thanked him for his text. I figured that if I reply in a friendly way, he might engage in some conversation. He didn’t. Oh well, it was just an experiment… Trying to find what works, right…

I’m pretty sure H has met somebody. So, the D papers might not be too far away. I think the only thing that keeps him from filing is that he thinks he will not be able to afford and keep the vacation home.

Job, your words are encouraging. I’m still hanging in there, but bracing myself for not so pleasant outcomes. I cannot even think what I’m going to do if H brings this new “friend” to the vacation home, which I’m sure he is dying to do.

And you are right, my love is still there, but for the “old” H. I keep telling myself that the potential ow can have him the way he is now. I’m not interested.

M:50
H:52
S28 (my S from previous marriage)
M:17 + 3
BD: 06/12
S: 06/12 - H works in another state