Busting a Move - LisaB Ch6

[Mozza]

This boat is crowded, Little and LisaB! For me, it's emails but it seems to be a similar situation. I've decided to reply and shine as much as I can, even if only to show her that I've a genuine interest in her, and a sense of humor she might be missing. My W has a serious OM though and he's moving in with her in January (they've KNOWN each other for 3.5 months so far), so perhaps this should influence my strategy. My thinking is: he didn't wait for me to clear out before going after her, so why should I go dark until she's available? I bet he wouldn't like to know how much she and I are emailing, especially since it has nothing to do with the kids (or she's playing me and is setting me up for some big news or request).

I told Little on her thread that you should set a high bar for him. I don't know what he's texting you, but I'd be attracted to a girl who has high standards, who laughs only at really good jokes or witty comments, and who drops it when I'm uninteresting. Getting a response, a laugh would be a reward that I would seek. OW who would think everything I say is funny, especially when I know it isn't, would be much less interesting. That's pretty much what my wife is doing to me now and, damn, she's good and I'm hooked.

As for some things being "too hard", I can relate, but I never apply this criteria to my strategy. I find all of DB too hard. If I was doing the easy stuff, I'd be writing her letters, knocking at her door, begging her to take me back, making a silly list of the reasons why I'm better than OM, sending her articles about reconciliation, etc. But I'm willing to make efforts to reconcile, and that includes tremendous emotional efforts. Merely accepting that my W sleeping with an OM is part of our R is beyond anything I expected to endure. So always ask: is this getting me closer to my goal?