Heather, no one can take our power from us. We give it away. Dont. Take it back. It's yours. You worked hard for it.
I dont know what the right thing is for you regarding the divorce. I do know that the wrong thing would be to take what you think you can get and give up what you deserve. So, whatever you have to do to get what is rightfully yours, is what you should do. If that means postponing...its something to think about.
I understand completely what you said about Smokey. I allowed my xh to determine my self worth. I did it, though. I allowed it. Maybe I wasnt strong enough to combat it. I dont know.
What I know now is that we should be the only ones who determine that.
For years I heard my xh and my mother's voices in my head..you arent good enough, you arent capable, you arent enough.
I get why you do back to that way of thinking when he is in the picture. Its what you know. It's your comfort zone of sorts. You know how to do Heather in Smokey's eyes.
Going out of that zone is scary. I remember thinking...what if they were right? What if I'm not good enough.
Even though deep down I knew it wasnt true, it still gave me pause.
He cant hurt you anymore, Heather...unless you allow him to. I dont mean financially. I mean emotionally, mentally. He cant.
You cannot allow him that power any longer. He has no say in your life. He holds no weight. You make this new life. You. On your own. You.
So, take some time to think through it all. Pros and cons. As long as you make it from a place of strength, H. You are really strong, Heather. You know that.
Dont let this kneejerk reaction to Smokey derail you. Get back on track. Silence his voice. You can do it. I have not one doubt.
