WAH - gone almost 1 year, still so hard.

[swoop]

Prepare yourself for a 2x4!

I find it easier to GAL when I still have a glimmer of hope. Its when I start thinking that there really is no hope of us ever getting back together that I struggle to get through the day.

Then you are not getting a LIFE, at all. You are simply going through the motions, while holding expectations that your husband will return. You're killing time. You're not getting a life. Here is the deal. You actually need to GET A LIFE! Trust me. It will help you, whether your WAH comes back or not. Some day you will be able to look back and realize this, but you have to take the steps forward. Stop holding onto that torch and get out there! Life is currently in progress!

I am just not ready to believe it is really over. I cannot come to terms with that and don't think I ever will.

I totally get this. I was the same way, and I still am to some degree. It is soooo paralyzing. Here is the unfortunate thing; Your husband has moved on. He is with OW. This is the way things are, whether you accept them or not. So, what do we do with this? You continue DBing and you go GAL! It is going to sting for a very long time, maybe forever, but until you start to let go and move forward, you will never start to heal from this. You need to detach and GAL. It is absolutely necessary.

Friends and family think that because a year has passed I should now have completely moved on and got over this. But it's still so painful. I do not want to see them together. I still want to touch him when he comes round to see the kids. It's pathetic.

Again. I was right there with you. I had those very same feelings at the one year point. Keep in mind, You are on your own path with your own timeline. Everything will happen when it needs to happen. Keep true to yourself and you will get there. Just try to allow it to keep moving forward. That is why detaching and GAL is so crucial. I mean, I cannot stress that enough.

I go out with friends quite often, and I think they are all hopeful I will meet someone else but I am not there yet.

You aren't anywhere near ready for that. Those days will come. Don't rush them.

My L is making sure I get everything I am entitled to financially when the agreement is drawn up, and I fear this will cause some friction between us, but I have to protect myself and my kids for the future.

You have to do what's best for you, just like H did when he walked out that door. Don't worry about causing friction. That is a consequence of HIS choices. Keep that in mind.

At the moment he is being very helpful and has offered to do some jobs around the house, which I have appreciated and told him so.

That is absolutely fantastic. Show him your 180's and be that spouse only a fool would leave. He is giving you the opportunity to prove yourself. Now go get a life and show him how awesome it is.