There is no agreement, other than she wants them to spend the afternoon and night with her on Sundays. I think we may need to iron this out a little better.
About expectations and not wrapping your head around what your W is doing, you can stop that. When the the questioning enters your head, you say, isn't that interesting and let it go.
Every time you want to go back to that thought, do the same thing. Here's the kicker, unless your W tells you exactly what she's thinking, you won't ever know. So the only meaning her confusing actions/reactions take on is what you give them.
So give them none.
My favorite 12 step slogan Q-Tip Quit taking it personally.
That is a great idea.
Originally Posted By: Shakspr
Jefe, it's just me checking in. Blessings upon you and your house. This, even ALL THIS is temporary.
I'm trying to get back in the game and lend an ear to those who need it. We're all with you.
I'd like to say what you've been hearing from others in a different way, one that you'll understand. But I've got nothing original. So try this for perspective: reread your threads start to finish, pick a positive to build on (in YOU!) and one negative to eliminate. If you are even a little objective I guarantee that you will see some patterns you can use.
Thank you Shake. I'll try and start working on that tonight.
Originally Posted By: Hope414
When you say, "she was acting very 'wifey' with honey-do lists and instructions about what she thought I should be doing with my time since she was going to have the kids tonight."
My definition and your definition of behaviors are probably very different. Couples develop a language unique and distinct to their individual relationship.
What was she doing that made you interpret her behaviors to mean this. And why did you infer this as "wifey" and "honey-do list" behaviors for your wife?
Hope, IDK. It was a combination of her obvious comfort level that day and the tasks she was asking of me that made me feel like she was in "wife" mode and not WAS mode. All until I asked her to help the next morning. Then the attitude went south rapidly. The positive vibes could be just wishful thinking on my part.
Monday morning, she dropped the girls off and stuck around for about 10 minutes then left. She ended up not having to work so she went back home and went to bed for several hours. When she got up we spoke and texted through-out the afternoon about car insurance and whatnot and she stopped by the house to pick up something. She expressed a lot of her feelings to me about money and finances, even cried at one point and I just listened and reflected.
This morning we spoke several times about the insurance. I took care of some things that bothered her about it and called to let her know her new insurance card was here waiting at the house for her.
I left to go take care of a job and since she had the day off again she went to the school to eat lunch with the girls.
I came back to the house to drop off some equipment and pick up different equipment and we ended up pulling up at the same time. She was very playful and flirty while she was here. I know this may sound like a strange thing to notice or post about, but since the separation went south in Sept, whenever she uses the bathroom here she has always shut and sometimes locked the door even. Today she left it open and continued to carry on a conversation with me.
She also had me look at some things on the car. Check the tires, mysterious noises, etc...
Just before she left she mentioned the free consultation with the mediator was scheduled for the 17th.
She called after she left to thank me for taking care of that. She said, 'You have no idea how taking care of that made me feel today.' or something to that effect.
This is why Jefe gets confused. But wait.
"Oh, isn't that interesting."
Me 47 - W 35 M 9 - T 10 2 Daughters - 7 & 9 Discovery of EA- 8/4/14 S - 8/5/15 D mentioned - 9/11/14 R & Piecing - 3/17/15 Regard one another as more important than yourselves. - Philippians 2:3
