The END Hopefully they live happily ever after....

[DFE]

It has been a rough several weeks. We filed for divorce on the 20th. We aren't doing the whole one year waiting thing. We got a witness to say we have been living apart for over a year. We have done this dance too many times. If he wants a divorce I don't see why I should prolong it. The sooner I get on with my life the better.

So why can't I accept it's over. It feels like he moved out again and we are taking a break. Or we are in another fight and aren't speaking. We are doing things different this time. He has moved out and we barely have any contact except for work and sometimes the kids. I go through ups and downs but for the most part downs. I feel like we are going to get back together and I hate myself for it.

I feel week and want to let go but I love him, my marriage, and family dearly. I have many regrets and I wish I had worked harder on the things he needed when he came back last time. I know it takes time but I can't help but feel it's not over even though our divorce will be final before the end of the year. What's wrong with me? Why can't I accept this????