I struggle with this too. I'm just wrote about it.

If you respond to his texts, he thinks you're friends and you run the risk of being put in "the friend's zone". He has no impetus to change his behavior, because he's calling the shots.

But, does frequent, light texting allow him to interact with you and realize you're changing/have changed?

I don't have answers on which is better, I'm in the SAME DAMNED BOAT. :P

ME: 38
BF: 40
T: 10y, no kids, no M (by choice)
BD: 7/14/14, BF admits to PA, wants out, lies about new R.
10/1/14: I move out, BF lies about move in with OW
12/4/14: OW confronted, reveals all the lies