The Black Knight II

[LoisB]

You're not hearing me Wonks.

We are moving up to 14 pages next week. My paper is beginning to grow.

When I'm stressed, I make mistakes. It's who I am. I need calm. It's too much.

Seeing him will stress me. All of this stresses me.

It's not that I'm not tough, it's just that I'm choosing my battles.

I KNOW I am unable to do all this and DO IT WELL. And, there's really no point in doing it at all...meaning the divorce...if I'm just going to get pummeled again and have to recover.

I knew it when my atty asked for the $3800 before we left. Everything inside me screamed, "Don't do it. It's not worth it."

Just get the temp support.

I took 5 Prozac today. FIVE. And drank coffee throughout to keep going.

[LoisB]

Thanks GG.

My kids are stressed.
I'm burning the bridge I have with the editor who likes me.
I'm broke.

All I really wanted from all of this was as steady, fair support payment. That's it.

[LoisB]

Seriously, what will happen if I withdraw the motion or whatever the eff it is?

What if I put it back in his lap?

I ask my atty to attain a decent support payment for the next 4 to 5 years. I just ask for Smokey to go away.

If I withdraw the request for retirement. I just wonder if he will go away.

[uRworthy]

Heather, please do not make any decisions when you are feeling so stressed.

You are giving them exactly what they want....you running scared so that you will cave.

And the truth is, that if it was just you involved, you could make that decision. But you have a daughter who is counting on you to protect her.

You can do this. You absolutely can. Look at what you have accomplished so far. It has been incredible.

So, get out a pad. Write things down to get them clear in your head.

Tackle what you can, leave the rest for right now.

COme on now, Heather. You have to dig in here. Do not give up. Do not give in. This is way too important.

[LoisB]

But, Ur, what if I lose this job?

Seriously, what if I lose this opportunity?

Will I be able to forgive myself if I screwed all this up because of Smokey?

Of the two, I'd rather have this opportunity than Smokey's retirement.

[LoisB]

I'm not doing anything tonight.

I promise. I know I'm stressed.

The paper is done for this week.

I just hate that the nice editor had to stay late again to help me out. I hate that there was a glaring mistake he caught at the 9th hour.

I hate all of this.

[Wonka]

Heather,

You cannot do this paper alone. Call in for extra help to get the paper done and done well. The 100-page document can wait a bit while.

Your mind is all over the place. Shut out all the external distractions and get the paper done on time with nearly zero errors.

We all have been where you are...working at our jobs while handling separations, finances, selling houses, and divorce.

[Lifes Twists]

Actually Heather,

Withdrawing the divorce may not be a bad idea for now given what you a dealing with. You can always take it up again in a year or so when you are more established and secure in your job. The benefit of that will be that you can then file in New York state and keep the process close to home. I don't think this strategy would be all that bad. Refresh me, did you file or did smokie? Did he counter file? If he did then he could keep the divorce going.

[Wonka]

I just hate that the nice editor had to stay late again to help me out. I hate that there was a glaring mistake he caught at the 9th hour.

I hope you've been documenting all of the corrections so you can learn from them and spot them yourself. Write them down so you are more aware of them each time you do a new edition.

[LoisB]

I filed.

I don't believe he counter-filed.