The Black Knight II

[LoisB]

But, I can't Ellie. I have to answer 100 questions and produce proof that I didn't do these absurd things.

I could lose my job.

I made a stupid mistake tonight. STUPID.

I have lived with this kind of stress my entire life. I've always had some abusive man calling the shots in my life. I'm done with it.

I WILL NOT LOSE THIS JOB.

And, it's a strong possibility with everything that's going on.

I'm calling my atty tomorrow and asking what it will take for Smokey to go away.

[LoisB]

God only knows what other mistakes are in the paper.

I had to take extra Prozac today to get through the day.

I'm done with this. It's not worth it.

I could be earning extra money writing, selling pieces I've started here. This is stupid.

One more time, Smokey is calling the shots in my life.

[LoisB]

What happens if I withdraw my filing? Can I do that?

Leave it back in his hands. I just want the GD monthly support. That's all I care about at this point.

[Wonka]

Heather,

Listen up! It sounds like you're caving in with this statement:

I'm calling my atty tomorrow and asking what it will take for Smokey to go away.

This is exactly what Smokey's aiming for....you folding at the merest hint of pressure.

Don't let him see you sweat. We can help you with the list...Job and others have done this. Use them as your resource. Ask those questions here.

My suggestion is to focus on WORK during the day and then on the questions in the evenings/weekends when you're not working./ Doable?

[LoisB]

NO, IT'S NOT DO-ABLE.

I'm under a microscope here and I could end up in a very lucrative position. But, I'm fast gaining a reputation for being riddled with mistakes and excuses.

[Wonka]

One more time, Smokey is calling the shots in my life.

He isn't. You are giving the appearance he's is calling the shots, when actually he's acting out of desperation. Don't you see this at all??

[LoisB]

Smokey can go eff himself. He hasn't won shid.

This should be the first time in my life where I'm not bound to some abusive man. Instead, I'm still suffering.

We are broke, I'm exhausted. I'm spending money on an attorney that I don't have to spend.

I used up my "emergency funds" to pay for him. I'm in debt with my dad, again.

This isn't worth it.

I've fought the good fight.

[LoisB]

He DOES get to me. I don't care anymore. It's the truth. He DOES get to me. I'm like a Pavlovian dog and I've been trained to respond.

I just want him gone.

Give him his GD retirement. I will have a new life.

[Wonka]

NO, IT'S NOT DO-ABLE.

I'm under a microscope here and I could end up in a very lucrative position. But, I'm fast gaining a reputation for being riddled with mistakes and excuses.

Yes it is. What you need to do is comb through every portion of the paper with a fine comb and think back on the editor's corrections. Focus.

The 100 questions can wait. The focus right now is on producing HIGH quality paper. Yes, you can DO this!!!

Why not develop a checklist? This way, you can check for any glaring errors.

-Any typos
-Any spelling errors
-Any grammatical mistakes
-Font issues (centered, etc)
-Pages continued (insert correct page numbers)
-Correct list of advertisers and ad sizes
-Correct email/contact numbers (phone numbers, names, etc.)

[GoatGal]

Gosh, Heather.

I wish you could send me your paper through the ether. I could expend a lot of mental energy editing...

I know it's not obvious from what I write that editing (as in "cutting out parts and using less words") is my strong suit. But I can edit the heck out of other peoples' stuff!

You sound like you're really under a lot of pressure and I feel for you.

I wish I had something more useful, but since I don't, I'm sending you a hug.

(((Heather))))

--Your Pal,

The Goat Gal