The Goddess of the Goats Sees Into The Future

[GoatGal]

Hi kml,

Who knows what's going through his mind? I doubt he even does!

To me, if he's sleeping here while I'm here from 11-8, rather than 9-8, it's really not that big of a difference.

It's hard to imagine he'd be that calculating. As per what I said above, he usually rides on pure emotion.

If he was really putting any thought into it, he'd be doing plenty of other things to set himself up better for after a D and he's done nothing.

As for the house, it's a big concern. Right now we're upside down, and it can't be sold as is. He can't keep it up alone. I am not going to walk away from this with a mountain of debt. I'll declare bankruptcy and they can foreclose on the damn thing for all I care.

I am not going to carry such a tremendous burden for the rest of my earning years because he was a d*ck about being a husband.

We have a lot of money sunk into this house, it was our dream. Or, it was MY dream and he allowed me to operate under the delusion that it was HIS dream too...

IF it could be finished, it would sell for much more than we bought it. If unfinished, it's a massive liability.

There is no way he's going to buy out my share of the equity (very little), then finish fixing it up and pocket whatever profit is made. I put a lot of sweat equity into this project and that counts for something. I have easily done the lion's share of the work.

That's a discussion the lawyers can have. I am going to try and get every red cent I can from him, whether or not he thinks it's fair-- I do.

He's taken almost 30 years of my life and thrown it away. Sorry, but he doesn't get a "get out of jail free" card.

As for employment, I have a lot of skills, have had various jobs over the years. If and when I have to, I'll pursue that.

Right now, I can't have a "regular" job because my "job" is being here and taking care of the home/animals/property. I can't be gone more than a few hours at a time.

And neither could he! He knows this.

However, I am working on my music, putting out feelers for some writing/promotional jobs, organizing events and such. A lot of that I can do from home. Advertising, working for a magazine, things I could do part-time.


He will be paying me at least 50% of his income in future, so that will set me up fairly well, even after taxes, providing I can live frugally. That's our law, thank goodness.
Plus I get 50% of all our investments, etc.
I will lobby for not taking on the debt (he makes good money and I haven't "worked" for over ten years), I will keep my car (paid for) all the things I came with, all my personal things and at least half of the household furnishing.

I don't think he'll care.
At some point I will receive a small inheritance from my mother. I really don't want him to be able to spend a penny of that, even if we stay married. I will keep that in a separate account as a "safety net" for myself.

(Something I always wanted in the past, per Suze Orman "A woman should ALWAYS have some money of her own." Subtext= Ladies! MEN CHEAT! Anyhow, H always balked at how I'd never need that, why can't I just trust him, hasn't he always been trustworthy? Well---he was. Until he wasn't. He spend a TON on OW, hotels, driving around, trip to NYC...gifts. Ugh.)

If we D, he is not getting a penny of anything my family worked for. That's going in any agreement I make with him.

Oh, and if we DO stay married, a post-nup is non-negotiable.
Funny, after OW discovery he said he'd do one, I was a bit slow on the uptake, and he ended up filing.

So it goes.

But yes, even though I am sitting tight I am doing a lot of thinking and planning. As I said I have lots of feelers out in various places. I don't think I'll have a major problem finding something.

As I said, as of Feb. I will put some more wheels into motion. That was my plan.
I want to get through the holidays and see what transpires. Then this next year is about getting my motor running to move forward in my life without him.

Who knows? Maybe that's just what he needs to see.

Thanks for checking in, kml!


--(G)GGG