"but what can I be doing now to show her that I will never be that abusive/controlling/oppressive husband again?"
You need to keep digging deeper as to why you behaved like that^^^^. There is nothing YOU can say that will change her mind. It is all about ACTIONS now. Someone told me early on that you can't talk your way out of something you acted your way into. Are you abusive/controlling/oppressive with others also?.
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
