Okay, thanks. I understand about your W and what she says. I had read books on MR for many years, yet I don't believe I fully recognized what was happening to me at first. Once I was involved with OM, the emotional need was seemed stronger than my morals. But I'm not making excuses. I knew I was wrong for my EA. But the A was only part of everything that was going on. I was such a mess, and really was not thinking clearly.

I said all of that to say this, as much as I had read on the subject, none of the previous material I had studied seem to break through the fog and into my memory cells to say, "Hey, stupid.....this is what you have read about in the past. Wake up!"

I had been raised in a good home and tried to be a "good" Christian, and never did I believe I would do what I did! However, I failed miserably when I hit that point & time of temptation in my life. It is usually when we are in a weaken condition (spiritually, physically, mentally, or emotionally) that causes us to backslide from the kind of person we have always been. I had been dealing with tremendous stress for years, compiled with a lot of sadness/emptiness. When I look back on how it happened, I can see how my loneliness contributed to pulling me in (to a point), before I recognized what was happening. By then, I was already hooked (only I didn't know it was like an addiction).

You know what seems so crazy with many WAW's? Instead of being honest and just come out about OM/A, they will deny it and continue to cover up....even if they separate from the H. It's so crazy! There is nothing about it that is logical. That's why it seems almost like a sickness. Except there is one point that nobody can deny, no matter how bad a person's situation may be.....it is always a choice to cheat.

Tell you something else that sounds totally nuts. I don't think I ever used that word (cheat) when thinking to myself about the stitch at the time of my A. I really can't remember. I was just so wrapped up in my own fantasy.

Perhaps none of this is very helpful to you right now. Don't know why I am even telling you all of this, except to say that I did come through it and I finally woke up. My H and I are still together. And even though all those books in previous years were forgotten, the good Lord helped me find my way to this board.....therefore, leading me out of my waywardness.

My H saw a side of me that neither of us knew existed. And I saw a side of him I had never seen, too. Try to remember she is not the same woman right now. Maintain your integrity and lead with strength and honor. You won't be sorry, nor ashamed of your actions later.

I know things look dark right now, but things can still turn around in time. I don't think it will be overnight or a quick fix. It wasn't for me, either. But it can happen.

((hugs))

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!