Shocked by W

[hjoseph]

Hi rppfl,
you are correct. it wouldn't hurt to try something different. When my W first approached me about S, I didn't quite understand it. So, I pushed back. I didn't understand that all she needed was space. It took four months for me to finally get it and I had to move out to clear my head to gain that understanding. But, I believe when I was pushing back. I actually pushed her to point where she is now. She asked for D. However, since the day she asked, she has not done anything to show she is serious about it. no paperwork, no talks of separation of assets or talks about the custody of our son. Its been 7 months. Leads me to believe that asking for D was a way for her to get space and not have to talk to me about our M.I still spend a lot of time with my son and step son. What do you think?

She still has the pictures of our wedding of Facebook. She has not completely cut me off from her life yet. I maybe clinging to those simple signs as a signal for there is still hope, but I don't have anything else to cling onto at the moment. We only talk about the kids. Conversations about M are met with anger, where she iterates that there is no chance of R. I ignore her and choose not to believe her. Because, she sounds as if she is still hurting and not ready to talk. I can't tell if I have a chance at R but I don't want my M to end. I understand uncertainty is part of the process.But If I only knew if she still loves me , I would feel so much better. It would give me something to work out of instead of me always thinking I lost my W and she doesn't love me anymore. I came here to find out what should I do. She knows I love her. Her friends and family were on my side when this all first started. It made things worst because she accused of turning her family against her because I went to them for advice. But, I was not home but on deployment for 1 1/2 years. I didn't know what was going on with her. So, I went to the people who were around her when I was gone to ask what happened. She has said there was no OM and I take with suspicion but I have no proof. Right now, I am in a dark place and losing hope by the day. I believe my issue with my W can be worked out. I see it as a miniscule issue but I understand that its about how she feels about it. I have made some changes to my life for me that I know she would like but I don't think she cares right now. She has been living the single life for a long time. She might be attracted to not having a H right now. I am so confused.

Our issue: I didn't know how to handle certain trauma, I developed a dissociative identity disorder, so I would say things she considered lies that I thought were truths. She didn't like that. I lost her trust. Went to counseling. Got a handle on my problem. W still does not want to talk.

Me: 28 W:24
Kids: Step son 5, son 2
Married 3 years together 4
Wants separation : 4/24/2014
Talked about D: 5/1/2014