Mindsin - Part 7 (Dark times)

[mindsin]

Ok, so here is the latest:

Shortly after that e-mail, she called me and asked for my feedback. I basically told her that my stance has not changed -- that I do not want a D. I reiterated that D is a decision not to be taken lightly, and certainly not while emotions are still running high. I also stated that her decision to file is not only a decision on me, but a decision on our children, and I feel it's a decision that is not in their best interests. It is also a decision on our children that is being made without my consent, as a parent.

I then went on to say that her breakup is still fresh, and that it can take a couple of months to heal from the end of an A. Making a life-changing decision such as D is something that should be done when minds are calm.

I told her that I had a 6-month plan in mind. I proposed that she take a couple of months to reflect and heal. After that period, we will have another conversation. I said that if we are to D, then I want to spend the next 4 months to make sure every stone was left unturned in trying to see if our marriage can work going forward. I hinted that there are programs we can go through to help us in this process (Internally, I was referring to Retrouvaille). When I said that, she instantly retreated and said that no matter what happens after she heals, she still intends to file.

In the end, she agreed to put the D filing on hold until the healing period.

We ended the conversation there.

Later, she sent me a follow-up e-mail, thanking me for having the open and honest conversation. She also said that she wants to be upfront and that if at the end of February, she doesn't want to proceed with any programs to improve our marriage, then I need to respect that. Then we can sit down and discuss next steps on the D.

She obviously still has D on her mind, but I think through her words, she may have revealed that she is leaving the door at least slightly open at the possibility of trying to reconcile at the end of her healing period (end of February).

I just bought myself 2+ more months.