In most states, you can "accept service" of the D papers. That is, you (and your L) can tell your W (and her L) that you will "accept service" rather than being served by a sheriff/marshal. She saves the cost of paying for the marshal, and it's a little more civilized. She can hand you or mail you the papers, and you return a notarized form saying you received them, all of which gets filed with the court.
