Mindsin - Part 7 (Dark times)

[Bunches]

Hey Mindsin, I'm glad to hear the A is over but sorry to hear your W still focused on D. I'm not a vet but felt like I could weight in on this one because I've been doing this very same thing for the past couple months and at least think I've learned a couple things. I would not ignore that email. My response I think would be to ask when would be a good time and attend if convenient. I also have some thoughts below based on my experience with this.

First in my mind is, it doesn't help to refuse cooperation. Your W wants to press D and while you don't have to be the one to come up with a time to meet or help too much to move things a long, it doesn't help in my opinion to obviously drag your feet. Your W might feel you are trying to control her and it causes resentment. If you aren't available at certain times then don't go out of your way, but work it out like you would any business transaction or buying a house.

Second, keep your needs in mind at all times. In my weaker moments of the last year I've capitulated to things at times that I didn't want later and living with or taking back something you agreed to but didn't want will just irritate you regularly. Protect yourself in this at all times because its very hard to change what goes into the paperwork after its done.

Third, be calm during any discussions about D and try not to get drawn into R talk. My W has been very emotional the last month talking terms around S and visitation. She has said the most out of nowhere kind of things that caused me to jump into R talk which usually just gives her a reason to defend again. Its hard if not impossible to remain detached during these conversations but the more you can the stronger you will seem and more respected you will feel.

Just my 2 cents here. I hope its of some help. If she continues on the path you can't avoid D, but you can protect yourself in the outcome.