Wow Heather, I can really relate! I know for a fact that the sitch with my W had much to do with the failure of my business. I desperately needed her support to make it work. We talked at length about it before I decided that was the way I was going to go. I made certain she was behind me and all I got from her was how she was all for it. 3 months later after I had invested so much into it and burned other job offers suddenly she wants a D and isn't interested in trying to fix whatever problems we had. I spent the next year trying to find a way to save my M and family while she went on her replay walk-about. I should have been working on my business, spending the time I wasted on her on that. In the end it amounted to nothing, all that energy and time invested in an already lost cause. Since she left she seems to have a sixth sense about the worst time to push things, every time I started to make progress she has found a way to kick me back whether through the legal process or through the kids. It only worked because I let it. I allowed myself to let it get to me, still do in many cases.
Isn't there a way to have your lawyer only show for your hearing? In my state the only time either party must be at the hearing is one of the two parties have to be there for the final decree only. The rest can be done by the lawyers only. I mean he is already asking for more time to do the initial paperwork, how can they even have a hearing without all that being done. Maybe tell your lawyer to ask for a continuance for the next 2 months. It's more important that you concentrate on your job right now. You were the one to file in the first place, I can't see why the court wouldn't grant this especially since you now live so far and you have the kids to take care of. His lawyer knows that it's hard for you to get there, I wouldn't be surprised to find it's just another tactic to try and get you to give in.
Stay strong Heather. I'm also tired of deranged people shidding on my life. The trick is to not let them win. Not having a MLC myself I find it so hard to believe that people can go from being such loving, caring S's to one day make a choice that they want out and become so different, do such horrible things. I mean my W was (is?) one of those people that is so nice to everyone, so afraid to do anything to "offend" another person. The only person she seems to not worry about hurting is me! That says something about them if the only ones they can hurt are those they know love and care for them. That's cowardly in my book.
