Ganb8te 2 - WAH - lost in translation

[gan]

Hey, Lisa. Thanks for stopping by. Your ideas are always so appreciated. Methinks you are quite a creative person, no?

I'm sure I've read but what was a good aspect of your relationship when things were going well? Did you connect over serious things like current events and books? Did you enjoy eating and drinking together? Did you like to travel or go to hear music?

I've spent a couple of days pondering this. The trouble is, I am a glass half full/happiness comes from within kind of person. While this probably served us well a lot of the time, I also wonder if it meant I saw thinks through rose-tinted glasses. When we went to MC just pre-BD, the counselor basically said, WOW you guys seem to really be seeing things differently (in hindsight - she was validating H). So I guess I am now finding it difficult to know if we were really connecting over things. Don't get me wrong, I am not letting H re-write my experiences of the good times, I'm just questioning how he felt about them.

After H said he "wants more fun" the counselor asked when was the last time we had fun. I struggled to come up with something in the moment but went home and wrote down some things in my journal. At the beginning I wrote - not sure if I judge things as being fun/not fun (fulfilling/not fulfilling is probably more accurate). So here's what was on my list (at the risk of getting very personal):

- Camping (relaxation, nature)
- Going to music concerts/festivals
- Exploring Chiang Mai together (indulging in couples massages together, learning that H is an adventurous eater)
- Exploring Kyoto together (food experiences, temples, learning that H likes zen gardens)
- Bayou tour (nature, seeing BIL in his element)
- Business trip to our favorite town (H bought me this ridiculous, teeny bikini to celebrate the fact that I'd walked my a$$ off as part of a cooperate challenge event and my team came #1; I was embarrassed to wear it at the time, but so flattered that he thought I looked good in it)
- Picking out a new sex toy at an XXX store (lead to open honest communication about what we were doing well in the bedroom; unfortunately this was so close to BD I think it was already too little too late)
- Amazing food experiences at high end restaurants
- Making sushi feasts at home
- Making beer at home

So - travel, food, music, beer. Life does't look so bad through my rose-colored lenses.