Heh. I kind of made a lengthy post about this in another thread, but some more specific thoughts I had on general communication:

One thing that has worked for me is that I make it clear to him nearly all aspects of how I'm handling things and why. (Unless it's something I need to work on myself first.)

As an example: He knows about the SSM book. I've waxed near-poetic about how much it helped me. He knows that I think it's amazingly insightful. And I kept making comments like that, and suggesting he read it. Finally I took a line from the book, and told him that I'm not going to mention it any more, at least for a while, because I know he's not deaf. It's sitting on the bookshelf, and it's been sitting there. I know that he works his way slowly up to some of these things, having to overcome his pride and also his Mr. Fix-It nature. ("I'll find a way to fix it on my own. Manual? What's that?") :-D So I figure he'll get around to it eventually, and for now I'm just being patient.

But I didn't just stop asking about it and let it gather dust - I told him that I was going to stop, and why I was stopping. I made it clear to him that I still thought he should read it, and I hadn't changed my mind or feelings on the matter, but that I trusted him to read it if he wants to, since he already knows what I think about it. :-D

And I'll probably bring it up again in another month or so, just to make sure he remembers it's up there. (-;

But this works for me because I tend to be very matter-of-fact about such things. He knows I don't want any doubts, and I don't want him to take something I say the wrong way, so I'll spend an hour saying something that could be said in a couple of minutes so he'll understand WHY I'm saying it. *shrugs* Basically, I tell him what I'm thinking, but also tell him why I'm thinking it and how I got to the point of thinking it. So there are no doubts about how serious I am, how much I've thought about it, and how much it means to me, since I'm willing to put that much effort into it.

Be careful, though. Some people, this approach might drive crazy or just sheer exhaust. It works for me, but that's how I communicate, and my H is used to it by now. :-D It's really something that, in general on smaller specific issues would probably be done better on paper, unless you think he's just plain not reading what you write.

I hope that makes sense, and maybe helps a bit. (-:

I am turning in revolution these are the scars that silence carved on me