I ditto SP's commentary about the quiet. It's not always waiting for the shoe to drop. At least I'm pretty sure of that.
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1. Crazy sister
Sigh. Well, we do/did have this in common. My brother was homeless before he died. I know that one stresses your mom out as well. But truthfully, the barn door is open and the animals are probably in China by now. There is no time like now to get sober. Or not. Either way, not your mom's circus or her monkeys. I do pray for peace for you guys, though. I know it's elusive and extraordinarily difficult when the actions of an addict affect everyone around them. It's hideous.
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2. Stressed out Mother
Sigh. And I know it doesn't help anyone to point out the obvious that your mom had a hand in this outcome. She and my mom would probably get along really well in the enablers group. The only reason my brother was homeless was because he stole all my mom's jewelry and pawned off all her silver. She had lots of both, and I found out 2 weeks ago that the replacement value was $27K. Yes, $27K. My dad was so furious he told my mom that she better agree with him to kick his a$$ out or he would file for D. That was the first time in 30 years of my brother's addiction that my dad had the final word. But I could totally see my mom allowing it to happen if my dad were not there. My sister finds herself getting torqued about it, but I remind her that 1) our parents forgave him; and 2) he spent his part of his inheritance. She always told us that one would get the silver, one the china and the other the crystal. My bro just took his before she was done with it. I say this with a sense of lightness because it's done, my parents have made peace with it, and he won't be able to pay them back. So it will be buried with him. And trust me when I tell you that when I'm buried next to him, I'm gonna kick his a$$ for miles. I'll also be grateful that my sis and I won't have to deal with his drug addiction the day we divvy up their stuff either.
Hopefully, the negatives to downsizing are outweighed by the peace she will have without this albatross around her neck? At the very least, the albatross around you and your siblings' necks???
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3. Girlfriend
You so deserve this, BA. I think the bittersweetness of life keeps the balance and serves as a reminder to be grateful for the good in our lives. I know it's been true for me this year. I've had such a tremendously good year here at work this year - which has balanced out the personal losses for sure. Then when I'm back for the funeral, it will be another reminder for me to be grateful for my kooky family. Please feel free to join us at the visitation. I'm awfully certain that scotch will follow. Nobody does wakes like the Irish and Scots. I've got both in my family. And I might have to do an AC/DC tribute for him afterward. Something that includes Highway to Hell - which was both our favorite song of theirs. I'm sure my mom will be appalled...
There probably are storms in all our future. Can't get around that. But without rain, there are no rainbows. Of course it goes without saying that without sun there are no rainbows either. But then again, you need both to see the sheer beauty in things, right?
Hugs for you, my friend. Bets
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
