Card, I needyo find a way to inform my H of this, too. He thinks I only want to stay together for D. It's hard to convey wanting him without it being seen as pursuing. Any ideas on that??
What a challenge!!
I'm trying to think how. I don't expect there to be a perfect time that arises naturally. If I do bring it up on my own, I want to make sure I ask her if she's willing to have a brief R talk, and also not to try to get a response from her. Just make a brief statement (after she's agreed to listen) that doesn't ask her for anything, and let it go.
I do feel like that breaks DB rules. I don't see how it's possible to say something like that without pursuing, because it is the very essence of pursuit (telling them you love them, to an extent).
I'm feeling the urge to speak out because silence has led to misunderstandings before. She thought I was dating and would be cool with her pursuing dates (no I haven't said a word to her about that in a few weeks). More open communication would be a 180 for both of us (compared to pre-BD) as I didn't know she was headed for S, and she didn't know I loved her...yet I can't practice this 180 on her because it violates DBing.
I just found out a weird bit of news from WAW. She's not going to visit her family in TN during Christmas. This will be the first time since I've known her that she hasn't went down there. Whom I would consider to be her best friend, her cousin, is down there, too. I've sensed a disconnect between them lately as her cousin has texted me and told me that WAW hasn't been very responsive to her texts. I don't know if anything is going on there or not. It sound like she won't even see her mom and sister for Christmas this year. Who knows...
Me 38, WAW 30 D11 (former marriage) S2 T 8 years M 3 years BD 8/20/23 S 8/20/23
