New & seeking advice on what to do

[DaneMom]

I've been trying to GAL but struggling. Have a month long vacation out of the country planned with a friend. We leave in 2 weeks, but I find myself dreading going for some reason. Am having difficulty getting excited about going.

I started working out again which is good and bad. I find that I get frustrated that I am not in shape (which I know I will be eventually) but that I also can't do the things I used to with the bad back and knees now. Today in the middle of the workout with the Trainer 'motivating us' I found myself all consumed with thoughts of WAH getting into his dream ultra race (100 miler)... I found that out yesterday. I broke down crying in the middle of a run on the treadmill ... very embarrassing. Guess I am sad that I am not the one who is training and supporting him on that adventure.

I is coming over tonight to discuss visitation schedule for the dog.... I am very anxious about that... I want to control the situation and not have him come visit because he is not good with respecting my time. When he is called out on that it just causes an argument... so I'd just assume to not have him visit to see the dog on a regular basis... but then again... its the only time I see him now....

Seems like such a fine line between standing up for myself now and not being 'controlling'.