a young marriage in trouble

[Mozza]

If it can help you stick with the rules, think of your W as a new girl you're trying to impress. You still think of her as your W, but the rules have changed. They flipped. With your W, in a normal R, you say "I love you, you're the greatest, I'd swim to the end of the word for you" and she's head over heels. Now try saying that to a new girl? She'll think you're a creep. That's where your W is now. She's detached and rejecting you, so she's repulsed by your professions of love even though they feel great to you. Imagine that a random girl at the grocery store tells you those things. Not cool.

You need to re-create the attraction with your W. That's how she might come back. You're starting from afar, but you're only making things worse by pursuing. Give her some distance first. Then give her someone she can be attracted to. You've done it before.