a young marriage in trouble

[Calibri]

Inlyshp,

I'm new here -- so I'm not a seasoned vet, so take what I say with the understanding that I'm still trying to figure all of this out.

I think you are still so fresh in your stitch that you need to take a step back and breathe. How long has your W been out of the house? A few weeks? I know it seems like eternity. I know you want her to come back. But the best advice I can give you is to breath and give her some space. Let both parties calm down and think. You said you want to make her see that things can be different. But what's different in the time that she's been gone? Are the changes that you're making permanent? Things you would want to do regardless of if your W left? Things that you would want to do regardless if you knew she wasn't coming home?

You're all over the place with your posts. On the 28th you said that you weren't going to wait around like a puppy. That you're still young. Now you're wanting to do anything but then you end your post with the thought..that maybe you guys got married too young and that you don't deserve her. You need this time to reflect and get to a place that is less angry and rejected. (I'm three months into my situation and I'm still having trouble with this).

You've been given a great gift (and I know it doesn't seem like it....TRUST ME, I know), the gift of time. You have time to really evaluate who you are, who you want to be. How things got to be the way they are with your W. You have time to really change yourself and to get healthy both mentally and physically. Use this time to reflect and to become the man you want to be. The father you want to be.

Read the rules. Read them often. Stop asking for reassurances. Stop telling your wife how you're going to change and actually work on it.

Good luck!