rpp, I have to agree with Bug as well. It doesn't appear that you're in a good place to start all over with different traditions. You can reevaluate during the year next year and see where everyone is. It's probably easier for your kids to get through what will undoubtedly be a weird holiday with as much familiarity as you can both offer.
Hi Betsey! You are right, I am not interested in forging new traditions this year. Not for me, not for my kids. I kind of feel like it's best for them to keep things the same as possible. Fact is, H and I are NOT divorced, I don't have to push acting like it.
Originally Posted By: Underdog
In the same theme as Bug stated, have you had any ideas from reading The Best Year of Your Life?
Not yet. I have read the first few chapters and made some notes. Last night I wrote out what kind of life I wanted a year from now and what kind of person I would need to be to get it. And I can tell you in generalities what I want. Specifics are harder.
Originally Posted By: Underdog
Focus on what you can do to take care of yourself and your kids. I'd really focus on YOU this holiday. Your kids have been your priority for awhile, and the time has come for some extreme self-care. Coffee with friends, mani/pedis, new costume jewelry, a new, fun workout (pole dancing? LOL hot yoga?) - anything to give to yourself will go a long way toward making you feel better about YOU.
I am so not good at this. I appreciate the reminder.
Originally Posted By: bdub
I disagree with Labug and wmwb. I think you are allowing him to cake eat. He chose to run, let him go. Let him deal with not having a family anymore.
bdub, I know exactly where you are coming from on this. And that's why I'm spending so much time tossing this tiny thing back and forth as if it were life-changing. But after I've thought about it more, I am going to let go of what I "should" do (get my own tree) and do what I "want" to do (go together as a family). That's what feels right to me this year. Maybe after the holidays I'll have a clearer picture of how to proceed. I always appreciate your viewpoint, bdub, you make me think.
