Do what you want to do as long as it's without guile, from an authentic place.
It's the holidays, I would guess you don't have as many family customs in Jan .
OK, I can do that. And getting a tree together is fine by me. Because I think it will make D12 happy.
Both my birthday and H's birthday are in January. So that's the next hurdle. But I'll worry about that later.
Originally Posted By: labug
Things will change as they change.
You've listed what you think is good about his life now.
What's good about yours?
What new things are you going to do for you in the New Year?
My life is pretty similar to what it was before H moved out. And it's really easy to keep it that way. My days are already full with work, kids, house. And my kids are the best thing about my life right now, hands down.
I know I need to make a little more effort to get out of my comfort zone. I have some things planned for next weekend, several things, actually. That's easy during the holidays, there are more things available than I can cram in.
In the New Year, I don't know. I have a big giant list of things I could possibly do. I just need to pick some of them.
I need more friends. I need different friends. All my friends are M. And I have lunches with them like I always have, but it's hard to be the third wheel on a weekend. I've said this before, but D is just not done in my social circle. I need a bigger social circle. I was pretty jealous of Maybell's flirting stories over the weekend, because among my friends flirting with a guy would mean one of my friend's H. Not cool.
Originally Posted By: wmwb123
I'm with labug. You're not really feeding a double life. The kids know he's gone, and they know why he's gone. If he's delusional, maybe he thinks he's pulling it off, but in reality there's no secrets. I think you're doing well considering the circumstances.
I really meant from his perspective. Not that he's fooling any of us, but that he can go back and forth between lives at his whim. Have a family when he wants it, whoop it up in his own apartment with the duck when he feels like it without the inconvenience of a family. If he can live the free life most of the time and get his family fix when he wants it, why should he ever come back? Aren't I supposed to be acting in a way that makes him miss us? He can't miss us if we are doing the same things we always do together.
I suppose I'll just try my best to live with grace and dignity through the holidays and go from where I am in the New Year.
