I think you're beating yourself up unnecessarily.

Do what you want to do as long as it's without guile, from an authentic place.

It's the holidays, I would guess you don't have as many family customs in Jan . smile

Things will change as they change.

You've listed what you think is good about his life now.

What's good about yours?

What new things are you going to do for you in the New Year?

Me 57/H 58
M36 S 2.5yrs R 12/13

Let me give up the need to know why things happen as they do.
I will never know and constant wondering is constant suffering.
Caroline Myss