How long is too long?

[2thepoint]

Hi Bugsy! I'll respond to your question in a different post. Meanwhile, here are a few tips (stuff I learned the hard way):

1). If you are going to go dark, go dark! Don't drift in and out, checking to see if your spouse is looking, noticing, etc. And if you go dark, stay dark. Meanwhile, keep moving down your path, healing your heart and doing the necessary work that will make you a better partner in the next relationship whether it be with someone new or a reconciliation.

2). If your spouse is the one walking away, do not be the one who moves out of the marital home. If they want out, they need to experience it completely. It is my belief that for there to be an opportunity for a reconciliation, the WAS has to have something to come back to. That something has to include a better you but it also has to be something comforting and familiar, like the marital home. If you move out, all you have to work with is, well, not very much. Think about that for a minute. If the WAS stays in the home, and assuming there are kids involved, they have everything they need; roof over their heads, kids living with them, and you out. What more could the WAS ask for?