She called and skyped my son. Afterwards, I called her out of weakness and basically proceeded to put my foot in my mouth and break several rules. Asked her if she thought she had made up her mind. She said that she thinks so. Tried to plead with her to not shut the door. She said that she was still thinking, but I could tell what she wanted to say. She said that she was much happier living without me. She said that she does not want to give things another try. That it was too painful to live with the anxiety and negativity. Told her that I will not quit until it's completely over, that she is the love of my life and that I am going to make her see that things can be different. That I am going to make her see that there is something worth fighting for. She acknowledged what I said, said she would think on things, I don't think it made a difference though. She is so shut off from me, the wall around her heart has barbed wire fences and an alligator-infested moat protecting it.
I know you are not supposed to believe what they say, but I just do not see any light at the end of this tunnel. I shouldn't have called. I shouldn't have broken the rules. I'm so dumb and weak.
Should I let her go? I do want her to be happy. Maybe the most loving thing I could do for her is to just let her go and be happy without me. Maybe we did get married too young. When she took me back, I told her I'd never take her for granted and I did. Maybe I just don't deserve her.
Please help, fellow DBers. I need some guidance.
Me 23, Her 21 1S 2 M <1yr, T 7 WAW: She moved out 11/15/2014 She started D process 1/29/15
