Yes, Ss, I totally agree. For the first almost 3 years of her life, my H almost NEVER gave my D a bath and rarely put her to bed by himself. He spent little time alone with her at all. That has changed a lot, and I think that is a really great side-effect of this terrible situation.
He emailed me after he got home to say that he felt awkward about tonight. (So, maybe my mind-reading skills aren't so awful!!). He said he's struggled a bit with her behavior lately (I've heard this from others, too), and wondered if I experienced the same thing, and that it was awkward for him to experience that while I was there.
So, I guess I have an opportunity to validate here, and reassure him that I wasn't silently judging him. (I guess I was a teeny=tiny bit, but I was also mostly thinking about how, if we were together, I'd now be able to commiserate and laugh WITH him at the situation, rather than judge and resent him like I used to do).
