Hi. Not a vet so please take what I say as just my thoughts. You posted that you can't control your H and his contacting OW. Your right , mind reading will only cause you oak because it's rare to mind read with a positive spin. If you get proof he has over stepped or broken a boundary then confront him. Until then detach and become the best you that's possible. Let the negative thoughts go and stop the mind reading, neither will help at the moment. Take care
