Oh Heather. Here you are at the end of the game, at the darkest before dawn hour, stressing over the outcome.
Girl. Take a breath. LT gave some really good advice as did Job and the others. When you look at that list, realize that most of it is smokescreening. It's an easy tactic - wear your opponent down.
But as was mentioned, no state is going to screw the kids. They handle this stuff all the time and are wise to the shenanigans of divorcing parties. They are wise to the family dynamics. They are likely more tired of it than you are and are looking for an opportunity to find such a lopsided arrangement and right that wrong. But they will always side in favor of the children. Always.
When you look at that list, separate the wheat from the chaff. In negotiation, you ask for the world and accept what you can get. It's that simple. What you take off the table, is off the table unless and until they come back and try again. But the first salvo is to ask for everything.
The wills? Nah. Let them get a court order if they feel they can. It's not their business. It's not on the table.
What is on the table is the child support. The support for you. How do you get that? As suggested, ask for it. Ask for the temporary ruling until things are solved. That gives you the money your kids deserve and puts the pressure where it belongs - on Smokey.
The rest of it? You can and should answer what is reasonable. The rest? Take it off the table and let them fight for it. I doubt a judge will issue an order to get your parents financial information.
In the initial approach, they can ask for anything. That's how you get distracted - trying to answer it all and defend. But if you take things off the table and add some more of the truth...
Ask for the unfit parent ruling. Ask for the homeowners information. Ask for the world if you feel like it, but those things should help to put the spotlight back where it belongs.
And then? Put the issue down and focus on the things you need to focus on. And only those things.
Objectivity is your friend in these things, Heather. Learning to let them stay in their place and not worry about them is the key to success. Without your emotions and being rattled, they have NO case. So it's only going through the motions, without emotion, that will help you prevail.
If it helps, I went through similar with mine. Her lawyer saw her coming a mile away. By the end of it, her lawyer was helping me
Take a breath. Drop the emotions around the questions. Focus on the important things in your life.
Dating? You have time for that? That seems a messy distraction, if not something at least fun for a bit.
Take a breath.
AJ
"Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter" MLK Put the glass down... "Yesterday I was clever so I wanted to change the world Today I am wise, so I am changing myself."
