I just wanted to say I've been reading along with your trials and tribulations with the (now infamous) Mr. Smoky, and I am just so sorry for you and your kids to have to go through this nightmare.
You have showed true strength and resilience, even now when you're feeling less like Super Hero Tony Stark and more like.... I don't know... someone without a flying iron suit.
I have to say that reading your sitch sort of scares me...because in the back of my mind I am secretly hoping that I will not be where you are... and that is a lie I am guilty of telling myself.
That somehow I will dodge the D bullet, or at least it will all go without a hitch and I'll sail through with hardly a blip on my emotional, financial, or personal radar.
I know, I know. Ain't gonna happen.
Reading your story reminds me that I well could find myself in a similar position in another year or so and it scares the Bejeezus out of me, if I'm being totally honest.
I may talk a good game; I'm confident... but the idea of starting all over, splitting up our home, animals, leaving everything to be on my own in my mid-fifties... dealing with a person who is (Hopefully, hopefully!!!) not as "Bad" as Smoky... But then again, I have seen GUBU do and say some pretty awful stuff.
He too has his demons. And they do come out to play when he's under pressure.
Since in any D I plan to go for the jugular, I'm sure they will make an appearance. And when I say "jugular", I mean everything the law allows, plus what I feel is fair considering. Not to leave him destitute, but I am not interested in things being "fair and equal" as he believes I do.
That I'm going to be "nice" to him because I'm always so "nice" and always "do the right thing." Well, the right thing FOR ME in a D is to get everything I can so I am as stable and secure as I can be going forward. I don't think he expects me to pull out the big guns, but he makes good money and I haven't had a "regular" job in over ten years.
Plus, I have "disabilities". Being D is going to be a huge financial step down for me, and I want to minimize that as much as possible. This was not my choice.
Anyhow. You might not be feeling that way now, but I think you're a pretty brave chick.
Just thought you'd like to know.
Your Pal,
The Goal Gal
Me 54 Him 63 M 23 T 29 0 Kids Funny Farm of Rescues 12/12 OW-- 5/13 ILYBINILWY: A denied 9/13 Proof OW: ENDED 2/14 Got D papers on my BD I kicked him out for my sanity 9/14 He wants to "talk"?
