Lou and Gwen thanks for your support... It really helps.
For some reason, I am going through a real low patch today - "I just want my old life/and XH back" ... the kids need their father; if he would just show remorse and see how lost he's been, we could forgive him and try to re-incorporate him into our lives..
Like, yeah, that's gonna happen.
It's just a normal yearning for a happy life, I suppose. For an end to heart-ache and sadness. But it's not going to come through XH's actions, I know.
I think I'm down today because we put up the tree yesterday, and Xmas was always such a big thing in our household. I've been dragging my feet on the decorations and making the pudding this year - left to my own devices, think I'd just forget it all, but I want to make things nice for the kids. So I do it, and then I get sad and sorry for myself. (Time to grow up; there are many worse things that can happen to people.)
Also, I have my big meeting with my old friend tonight and for some reason, after looking forward to it for the last week, now the day is here, I've woken up feeling sick and anxious. Maybe it's because I'll probably have to explain my lack of a husband and financial troubles....IDK.
This will pass, I know.
Thanks again everyone for your support; it helps. Sorry to be so down, I think even writing this out has helped me though. I hope you are all doing OK.
