My friend, I love the way you write. I love what you have to say. What a generous heart you have to feel as you do about your h.
As much as my xh has done to me, I still wish happiness for him. When I see him and I look at his face, I still see sadness and discontent. I wish so much that he finds peace. Everyone deserves that. I understand completely how you feel about your h.
I so wish you lived closer so we could hang on the 24th and the 25th. My sister comes to my house on Christmas eve and my son is with us. He goes to see his dad on the Christmas day. I could go back with my sister and sleep over. But as her kids are young, I think its important that they spend the day together...just them.
So, I will probably be by myself on Christmas day. I was last year. I woke up late and took a hot bath. I rented a movie and made a special meal. I volunteered at a soup kitchen. It was actually pretty peaceful and nice.
I know its hard for you right now...I so wish it wasnt.
