He did anything and everything to fight me. He was calling and emailing his atty all. the. time.
His atty bill was over 70k. He ended up with FAR less than he would have had if he had only agreed with me in the beginning.
My atty told me that xh choice of law firm "saw him coming a mile away" and that there are those who prey on the desperation of an irrational stbx..... He had svcker written all over him. They convinced him to engage in all these semantics, while milking him for every cent he had.
He couldn't even pay his atty when all was said and done. They hired another firm to sue him. All of his proceeds from the house went to his fees. And he was making payments on top of that for years afterward.
I know that my xh's lawyer saw him coming. The same thing your h and Shining's...fools, both of them. They don't want to settle things in a peaceful manner because they are adult enough to do so. They act out and like kids, stomp their feet and try to bring us to our knees that that we will give them everything. It's the nature of the MLC beast.
Heather, you aren't alone when it comes to what he's doing. Many of us have experienced the same thing.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Yes, they do sound cut from the same mold, don't they?
Today, I'm hoping he is strung by his entrails at the end of all this and, then, his head is put on a stake outside of the Tower of London.
Just told D12 about the counseling appt. She was ok. Not sure how it will be when the date gets closer??? She seemed resigned to it. That's sorta how she processes things. Flips, accepts, then, sometimes, flips again when it happens.
The counselor is going to be away for 3-4 weeks after this week. I think this will make it easier to swallow. She will have one appt and then a break.
I may need to ask my mom for money.
I joined a free dating site last night. I'm lonely and stressed and stressed and lonely.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
My mother's prediction...and she happens to know Smokey's atty fairly well...She is usually dead-on with this type of thing.
She thinks they will continue to push and throw up bluffs to distract from the main issues at hand. She feels Smokey's atty is only reaching right now because he knows Smokey is on shaky ground. She predicts that, when I don't budge, they will present a settlement. IDK.
My emotions are all over the place. I even texted the Forester.
But, one page of the paper is done.
"You know, it's times like these when I realize what a superhero I am." Tony Stark/Iron Man
“Focus on what you can do, then do it with all your heart.” Lois Wilson
The best advice I received when I went through that, was to stick with the truth, and just the facts. Ignore the extra stuff because it's all noise.
Pare down the nonsense....sort through what really matters to a judge.
They know the emotional stuff will rattle you and that exactly what they're hoping for....distract you so you make an emotional decision.
Also, remember that you have the truth on your side. You have the easy part. The truth is always the truth. It's the liar that has to recall which lie he said, and when.
Don't waste an once of worry on the letter D13 left in the house. In the bigger picture, it will not be a deciding factor. Courts know everyone has moments when they could have been better. The more you own up to your honest actions, whether favorable or not, the more credible you will be.
You are so smart to come here and receive such incredible insight to your sitch. I know it's so hard, and so scary. Especially when the stakes are this high....the kids. It doesn't get any higher than that.
Heather, If you ask your mother for financial assistance, she may very well turn you down because of the money you didn't pay back when you went to NC. Ask her, but keep your expectations at zero. She's not been very helpful a few times since that trip.
I honestly don't think you are ready to date because you've got so much stuff going on right now. But, if it makes you feel happier, then do so...but you'll need to try to keep your focus on what needs to be done at the paper, your daughter and responding to the lawyers. BTW, how many questions do you have to respond to?
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I think I had 100 questions. I can't even imagine them asking for copies of your parents' wills. The divorce is happening while they are still alive and there are other children in the mix, which means you won't get but a portion of what's left to you, if anything. No one can predict what may happen down the road besides, if your parents have remarried, the spouses generally get first dibs on the money unless the will specifically states what is to be left to you. By that time, the parents could have blown the money or be heavily in debt that the parties left behind have to take care of. I do think that particular request is odd. I didn't have that one as one of my questions.
I do think that your h and his lawyer are going to draw this out until you have no money to pay your lawyer and that you are going to scream "Enough! I'll do whatever you want". The sad part about all of this is that the mlcer can't see what's in front of them. All of this could have been resolved, both of you divorced and moved on by now had he worked w/you. But, it goes against the grain for him that you asked for certain things and yes, you left the property in his hands and moved. He's not happy that you are no longer under his thumb and have to rely on him.
I wish that I could bottle all of them up and leave them on a remote island for a very long time. They are horrible to deal w/when it comes to filing and moving forward w/a divorce. They play on your emotional state and know which buttons to push. Keep your focus on the facts and leave the emotions out of the negotiations. He doesn't care how you feel about what he's done to you or the girls. Bottom line...money and what he can get away with in keeping from you.
