Ganb8te 2 - WAH - lost in translation

[gan]

If it isn't working try something else. My DB coach said to me too many people put too great an emphasis on going dark: it's just one strategy.

I guess I am dark because (1) he's not initiating contact and (2) I'm not too sure what I could do differently. Ideas very, very welcome.

I've tried:
- inviting him for a meet up because "I had some news" (that worked, if "working" is measured by his willingness to have contact with me. We met up, chatted for 30 minutes, then went separate ways. That was a month ago so that exchange didn't "work" to move him in my direction even though I was all PMA, there was no R talk and I ended it first. Talk was pretty serious, not fun…I'm not sure how to lighten the mood in a sensitive way given the circumstances)
- friendly text asking how he is (no response…that was probably just an annoying reminder that I exist)
- friendly text over a practical matter (no response, none required but a thanks would have been nice)

I could try a "I'm going for a walk [near his house], wanna come?" or a "Hey I've got tickets to X, wanna come?" But I think that would be a bit of a jump, and I'm not sure what X should be.

I've previously talked about writing a letter. Before BD, communication using the written word seemed to help H see things differently. Post BD (and before DB), I did send a couple of emails which did not o down well. My IC thinks I should write a letter but that idea didn't get much support around here.

Or I could just leave him be (current strategy). I think there is a risk though that another 6 months will pass without substantive contact and he'll file because we haven't had any substantive contact.

What about trousers? Are we allowed to wear trousers? I'd feel a little underdressed with thm.

Ah. I see there was some confusion stemming from differences in Australian English and English English. Pants = trousers…but I think you knew that Old Dog and were just pulling my leg. I'm just clarifying for those who speak American English ;-)

Hedge is definite concern…but laundry products are pretty good these days if you believe what you see on TV.