Newcomer With Hope (3)

[2thepoint]

Hi Little. I was reading a few of your posts and thought I'd chime in. Hope you don't mind.

...I'm wondering how someone breaks up with someone they've meshed intimately with for ten years and doesn't second-guess themselves.

Mind reading does you no good. And how do you know he isn't second guessing his choices? You really don't know and it is a waste of time and energy fretting about it.

On the other hand, I say that those are HIS faults and failures. He knows how I feel about him and he knows that, given the chance, I'd move mountains for him. My passion is real and sincere. That said, I know that I also deserve someone that will move mountains for me, too. Someone that will choose me. Someone that loves me and wants to put the effort into me.

Exactly! Keep thinking along those lines and quit worrying about what he is thinking. What matters most at this point is you taking care of you!

We have no contact, so how am I supposed to show him I've changed? [bold]And another part of me says that if he wanted to contact me, he would be doing it. He doesn't miss me, because if he did.....well, I guess that train of thought is pointless.[/bold] It's hard for me to stay positive, even though I know -- logically -- that no one knows what the future will bring, not even BF.

If you are dark, stay dark. if he is interested he will come around eventually. You just need to keep moving yourself forward. But you know this, right?

I'm not exactly in a bad mental place, but I guess there's a calm anger within me today, if that makes sense.

There is nothing wrong with having these feelings. You need to process and heal from the hurt. It all takes time.

IC says that, emotionally, I'm exactly where I should be given the situation. That I'm not insane or weak or stupid for feeling the way I do about BF. That this partner is one I was more open and vulnerable and "deep" with than any other person in my life, so it's okay to take my time getting over it, so long as I try to inch forward. It just hurts.

I know it hurts. And unfortunately it will continue to hurt for some time. But don't drown in your sorrow. Allow yourself to grieve and when the time is right, begin pulling the pieces of your life together and make a better future for yourself.

You have passion and a fighting spirit. Put those gifts to work.