Confusion is getting better, I think...

[Okabe]

25yearsmic,
Thanks for the input.
Whether she's always been depressed:
It's hard to tell sometimes, but I don't think so. She definitely went into a depression after she lost her mother (like one would expect) and a couple of years later after her best friend died.
I noticed the biggest change in her a year ago, around the time she injured her shoulder. She said the problems were there long before that (which is true), but that's when I noticed (what I thought) a real change in her. She seemed more withdrawn, uncommunicative, less affectionate, and depressed. I would ask her about it and she would tell me nothing was wrong. So I chalked it up to be pain related to her injury.
In regards to her injury. She had surgery in April and physical therapy after that. She has most (not all) of her range of movement back, but not all the strength. She was really good about her PT exercises, but hasn't been doing much for strength building lately.
I don't know if she'd do counselling. Years ago when she was having some issues with her Dad I suggested it and she said : "what are they going to tell me that I haven't already thought of".
I really think she needs to get out. Have friends besides online ones. Maybe this is naive on my part. I just wonder if she is depending on me for 80% of her social needs and resents me for not making her feel thrilled in that. I could be completely wrong in that, it was just a thought I had.
I get what you are saying in the gender roles. You're right. I probably get more feedback than she would for doing the same thing.
The "I'm stuck" message you got has been there for a long time. I feel like I've tried to encourage her to do things (anything at times) but always left it up to her. Who knows? Maybe I should have argued with her about it mote.
I remember pointing out to her that she could have had an associates online degrees in the time she spent gaming (she used to put in 8-12 hours a day).
I don't list the things I do to her or throw them back in her face. I just do them. And recently I've been doing the things she used to do. I don't know if this is because of schooling keeping her busy or preoccupied or why exactly. I have wondered if doing all these things have made her feel less competent or less like an adult.
I think the classes are helping her feel good about herself (and she should, she is an excellent student). I think getting out and doing something social would hep. I will watch her to see if it does look like depression.