It would show a lot of strength and compassion and integrity to help your wife get help, which she will have a very hard time doing on her own-- one of the effects of depression is feeling stuck. I know this first hand. I needed help desperately and getting it seemed impossible. She will need help to get help. Find a therapist, offer child care solutions, etc etc. It is scary to begin therapy.
My H blamed me for not addressing my mental health issues. He kept urging me to see a counselor, but didn't actually help me overcome the obstacles I felt in getting it (finding a good counselor, paying for it, child care issues).
I wish someone had advised him not to resent me for being ill and instructed him to be more proactive in getting me help. That would have been a very loving, strong thing for him to do.
